Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts

Friday, June 7, 2013

Do you have "It"?

The original "It" girl, Clara Bow.  She wasn't the prettiest, sexiest, smartest or most talented, but she had "It".  It - that indefinable quality that transcends physical attractiveness and yet, is more compelling than sex appeal or modern day good looks.  Well, that's what the studio wanted the public to believe!  But maybe they were absolutely onto something!  

"It" is far more to be preferred than mere attractiveness.  Because, frankly, looks fade but "It" stays with you to the grave and beyond!


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"It" Qualities

Unapologetic

Humphrey Bogart was NOT traditionally good looking, but there's no question he had "It".  Can you picture Bogie wringing his hands over his overbite?  Did he ever give the impression that he wished he was a bit taller or more muscular?  Not on your life!  He was unapologetic about who he was.  He didn't try to hide his flaws because he didn't see them AS flaws!  BINGO!  That's "It"!

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Sense of fun

"It" people laugh!  They have fun!  They find humor in themselves, others and everything!  Probably because they're not overly self conscious, worried about how they look or what others are thinking.  They seem to be able to get outside of themselves and just have fun!  And that fun is infectious, making others gravitate to their presence!  Does ANYONE seem less self conscious than the Divine Miss M?  My favorite Bette Midler line?  "That's enough about me!  Let's talk about you.  What do you think of me?!"  She's hilarious and every girl's girlfriend!

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Not afraid to be different...

Though not TRYING to be different.  Anyone can be different for the sake of being different, but where's the originality in that?  How is that being true to oneself?  Johnny Depp could've remained just a pretty boy actor in a sea of good looking faces in Hollywood.  But he was different and he embraced those quirks.  It's obvious watching him, that he doesn't have an affected quirkiness.  His is genuine and real!  How else can a 50 year old man pull of the looks he does?!  Because he has "It"!

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An independence from the physical
Nowadays, it seems to ALWAYS come back to the physical.  In our struggle to stand out, we end up blending in.  We try to duplicate someone else's "It" only to lose our own.  That's why celebrity faces aren't as interesting as they used to be.  Because they've been morphed into an amalgamation of what the press says are the most desired and beautiful qualities.  Big lips are in, ergo every actress is running to get lipids injected into her pucker.  Youth is "in" and maturity is "out"?  No problem.  There's a doctor who can take care of that for you!  So you'll have no unique characteristics....who cares?  You'll look "young"!

"Beauty is what's on the inside, and it reflects in your eyes.  It's not something physical."  Sophia Loren 

Sophia Loren has never seemed to get caught up in her sex appeal.  She knows that there is far more to her than her figure.  And it shows.  It truly is captured in her eyes.  And interestingly enough, as she's let go of this dependence on and definition of sex appeal, she is even sexier than ever!  

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And what does the oldest woman ever to appear in the iconic Pirelli calendar (2007 she was 72!) have to say about youth and it's appeal?

"There is a fountain of youth:  it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.  When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."

Listen, there's always going to be someone prettier, smarter, slimmer, more talented, more muscular, sexier.....basically more ANYTHING than you. 

 But "It" isn't in any of those things!  "It" is being unapologetically and unabashedly YOU! 


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Sunday, February 10, 2013

I AM beautiful! It's the STANDARD that got ugly!


Don't you just love Norma Desmond's confidence?  Okay, so it may be rooted in psychotic delusion, but you gotta love a woman that commits!  Seeing this movie makes me of the standards we have of beauty.  After watching this clip, I thought to myself, "I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly!"  Imagine Bill Holden turning to a woman today and saying...

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman over 40.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who has hips.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who has smile lines around your eyes.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman with gray hair.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman that's bigger than a Sz 6.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who doesn't wear a D cup.  You used to be beautiful!"

Guess what Bill Holden!

I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly!

And the standard HAS certainly gotten ugly. 



The modern standard for beauty seems to get more and more demanding in it's appetite to me met.  What was considered beautiful 20 or 30 years ago, now seems like a bad joke.  No doubt, if Marilyn Monroe were alive today, she'd be told to go on a diet.  If  Jackie Kennedy had aspirations today, she'd be admonished to get her teeth fixed.  This isn't being mean, it's simply the reality in our culture today.   And what's interesting is that women haven't changed, only the standard of beauty has changed.

A demanding standard


You know what makes the beauty standard so ugly?    It's demanding.  Demeaning.  Fickle.  Impossible to satisfy. The standard says, "You're not skinny enough!  Only skinny is beautiful!"  And so we diet and deprive ourselves until we've reached that elusive Sz 2 (or at least as small as we can get) only to hear the standard say, "Oh, cool!  You're skinny!  But in losing all the weight, you lost your boobs!  UGLY!"  Oh okay, well thank goodness there are breast implants.  Whew!  Crisis averted.   The standard teases us with, "Gee, if only you didn't have those laugh lines around your eyes, you could really be a looker!"  Off we go to get wrinkles botoxed or stretched off our faces.  Surely now that insatiable standard will be satisfied.  But nooooo, "Wow!  What did you do to your face?!  You can't even express an emotion on your face!"    Or how about this standard quip?  "A woman has to be young to be beautiful."  And so we buy every cream that promises us a youthful glow.  We try to adjust our wardrobes so that we can still make our womanly selves appear more "girl like".    And even for that we get, "Haven't you heard?  Women over 35 aren't supposed to wear a mini skirt!  Can't you act your age?!"

There have always been differing and changing views of what is seen as beautiful in a woman.  And, as women, we jump on the treadmill trying to keep up with them.  I mean, what woman doesn't want to be thought of as beautiful?  I know I do!  I don't think it makes me shallow.  I think it makes me human!   Call me crazy, but I think ALL women are beautiful.  And I'm not talking about the "Well, she has such a good heart" kind of beauty, I'm talking about genuine attractive beauty.  Just like we are.  All different shapes and sizes.  All different ethnicities.  Whatever your weight.  Whatever your age.   So the reality is that I don't need to change.  And neither do you.  The only thing that needs to change is the fact that we give a crap at all what some marketing agency or industry tells us what is and isn't beautiful.

So the next time that ad or commercial says to you, "Hey I know you.  You used to be beautiful!"  You just hold your head high and say with confidence:

I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly.


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