Do you have "It"?

The original "It" girl, Clara Bow.  She wasn't the prettiest, sexiest, smartest or most talented, but she had "It".  It - that indefinable quality that transcends physical attractiveness and yet, is more compelling than sex appeal or modern day good looks.  Well, that's what the studio wanted the public to believe!  But maybe they were absolutely onto something!  

"It" is far more to be preferred than mere attractiveness.  Because, frankly, looks fade but "It" stays with you to the grave and beyond!

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"It" Qualities

Unapologetic

Humphrey Bogart was NOT traditionally good looking, but there's no question he had "It".  Can you picture Bogie wringing his hands over his overbite?  Did he ever give the impression that he wished he was a bit taller or more muscular?  Not on your life!  He was unapologetic about who he was.  He didn't try to hide his flaws because he didn't see them AS flaws!  BINGO!  That's "It"!

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Sense of fun

"It" people laugh!  They have fun!  They find humor in themselves, others and everything!  Probably because they're not overly self conscious, worried about how they look or what others are thinking.  They seem to be able to get outside of themselves and just have fun!  And that fun is infectious, making others gravitate to their presence!  Does ANYONE seem less self conscious than the Divine Miss M?  My favorite Bette Midler line?  "That's enough about me!  Let's talk about you.  What do you think of me?!"  She's hilarious and every girl's girlfriend!

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Not afraid to be different...

Though not TRYING to be different.  Anyone can be different for the sake of being different, but where's the originality in that?  How is that being true to oneself?  Johnny Depp could've remained just a pretty boy actor in a sea of good looking faces in Hollywood.  But he was different and he embraced those quirks.  It's obvious watching him, that he doesn't have an affected quirkiness.  His is genuine and real!  How else can a 50 year old man pull of the looks he does?!  Because he has "It"!

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An independence from the physical

Nowadays, it seems to ALWAYS come back to the physical.  In our struggle to stand out, we end up blending in.  We try to duplicate someone else's "It" only to lose our own.  That's why celebrity faces aren't as interesting as they used to be.  Because they've been morphed into an amalgamation of what the press says are the most desired and beautiful qualities.  Big lips are in, ergo every actress is running to get lipids injected into her pucker.  Youth is "in" and maturity is "out"?  No problem.  There's a doctor who can take care of that for you!  So you'll have no unique characteristics....who cares?  You'll look "young"!

"Beauty is what's on the inside, and it reflects in your eyes.  It's not something physical."  Sophia Loren 

Sophia Loren has never seemed to get caught up in her sex appeal.  She knows that there is far more to her than her figure.  And it shows.  It truly is captured in her eyes.  And interestingly enough, as she's let go of this dependence on and definition of sex appeal, she is even sexier than ever!  

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And what does the oldest woman ever to appear in the iconic Pirelli calendar (2007 she was 72!) have to say about youth and it's appeal?

"There is a fountain of youth:  it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.  When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."

Listen, there's always going to be someone prettier, smarter, slimmer, more talented, more muscular, sexier.....basically more ANYTHING than you. 

 But "It" isn't in any of those things!  "It" is being unapologetically and unabashedly YOU! 

NUETP of the Wide Leg Jean

Never UnderEstimate The Power: The Wide Leg Jean

It's no secret that I LOVE the 70s!  And while the reasons are plentiful, I think we have to send a Thank You note to the 70s for bringing us the wide leg jean.  Flares.....bell bottoms.....wide leg.......call them what you will as long as you acknowledge their total FABULOUSNESS!!  

 
I thrifted these J Brand jeans for a mere pittance (seriously....a couple of bucks)!!   Paired it with another thrift find, a CAbi top, and Franco Sarto (purchased on ebay...."I'm not just an ebay seller.....") wedges.  Can you tell I'm feeling crazy cute right here??


I think these are the same jeans, except here, I've paired them with a thrifted Nicole Miller blouse.  I originally got this blouse with the intention of selling it, but frankly, I love it so much, I just can't let it go!

Kenneth Cole Wide leg dark denim with a thrifted blouse (THE most perfect fitting blouse ever!) and a vintage suede vest that's thrifted as well.

My J Brand jeans again with a tagless thrifted blouse and men's leather belt.

While I completely understand the universal penchant for skinny jeans, my heart belongs to the wide leg cut! The skinny, to me, feels more trendy.  The flare is simply classic!!

BONUS:  All outfits are under $10 excluding the shoes!!  (I'll ALWAYS splurge just a little bit on shoes!!!)

The Catherine Ogust "Forever Dress"

                                  Purchase                                                                          Purchase

When I came across these dresses, I just knew they were something special!  The gorgeous print. The easy  fit.  The soft cotton.  So I snatched them up right away!  (Originally, there were three of them, one has already sold)  I did some research on the brand and LOVED the concept!

Catherine Ogust for Penthouse Gallery

The name sounds like porn wear, no?  However, Catherine Ogust was a print designer for Penthouse Gallery.  The above dresses are referred to, by the brand, as The Forever Dress, because it's such a classic dress, it can be worn forever!  THAT'S the concept that I love:  a print and tailoring that never dates.  The hem can be taken up.  Wear with or without a belt.  Swap the belt out.  Or even wear in the current popular style of pencil skirt over the dress with the hem flaring out the bottom! (Info Source and a great read!)

When I look at these, I can't help but reassert, "THIS is why I love vintage!!"

As you're shopping, please don't forget to peruse Bella's store.  She has such novel vintage items!  And Terri has a growing eBay shop that exemplifies her classic style and vintage flair!  Now, more than ever, there are so many options to Shop Secondhand First!

Style and the Serenity Prayer

Most of us have heard this at least once in our life.  This morning it hit me how this sweet prayer can apply to our personal styles, especially for those of us who've left our twenties in the dust!!

In my opinion style ought to be about what I love about myself, not about what I want to change. So, in my daily life of deciding what to wear and how to wear it, decisions are being made.    Am I going to dress to hide what I've come to not like about myself (or often, what I've been TOLD not to like about myself) OR am I going to dress with acceptance, serenity and with an eye to showcase my features and personality?

We really CAN'T look like whatever we want....

We live in a society that tells us that we can look however we want.  Women are lauded for their parts not their whole and we think that if we work out the way Gwen Stefani does, we can have her legs or eat like Gwyneth Paltrow, we will have her figure.  But wise women have figured out by now, that's just not true!  I am me.  You are you.  And we can spare ourselves much time, grief and frustration by accepting what can't change and changing what we can....but as the prayer says, the key is knowing the difference!

I can change my size, but I have to accept my body shape.  All the dieting and working out in the world isn't going to change my basic body shape.  So instead of bemoaning my muscular legs, I can show them off in above-the-knee skirts and fitted jeans!

I can change my hair style, but I have to accept my hair texture.  It does me no good to take a picture of Camilla Belle to my stylist and say, "This is what I want" because our hair texture is different.  I may get the cut, but I'll never have the look!

I can change the way I apply my makeup, but I have to accept my face.  Yes.  That's right.  I have to accept the shape of my eyes, the roundness of my cheeks, the "little too much teeth" grin that I get when I'm really excited!  I know.  I know.  There's cosmetic surgery.  But there are plenty of examples of women trying to get "just the right" face, who ended up getting something else entirely!

I can change the way I dress, but I have to accept my age.  Ouch!  Now I'm just meddling, aren't I?!  Here's the dirty little secret we sometimes don't want to acknowledge to ourselves:  my age IS a factor in what I wear.  There. It's out there and I said it!  :)  There are some things that will look ridiculous on me at my age.  Certain types of shoes.  Super short skirts or shorts.  Low rise jeans.  A LOT of graphic print tees.  I can try to dress like a 20 year old all I want.  But it's never going to change the fact that I'm 46!

So what's the key in all this?  Acceptance.  

Acceptance of our features.  Our bodies.  Our age.  Our personalities.  And with that acceptance, an embrace.  I'm not talking about a grudging acceptance and having the scooter store on speed dial.  I'm talking about a celebration!   Celebrating what makes each of us unique.   Celebrating our personal style that's built around flattering our assets, not camouflaging our perceived "problem areas".

Changing what we can.  Accepting what we can't.  And having enough wisdom to know the difference!  How's that for a style devotional?!

By the way, if you've happened to stumble here without ever meeting Pam (I can't imagine!!), please do yourself a favor and give her blog a read.  Her blog is prolific when it comes to celebrating one's age and embracing change!  And another FABULOUS read is Paula!  Paula is a gorgeous example of self acceptance and wearing it well!

What is elegance?

"We must never confuse elegance with snobbery"  ~Yves Saint Laurent

"Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress"  ~Coco Chanel

"The only real elegance is in the mind; if you've got that, the rest really comes from it."  ~Diana Vreeland

For me elegance in a look is paramount!  I enjoy whimsy, a bohemian vibe, a touch of the unexpected, but at the end of it all, the overall effect must be elegant.

Cecil Beaton said, "What is elegance?  Soap and water!"  He's right!  Elegance doesn't need designer labels or a credit card.  Elegance is found in simplicity.  As Ms Chanel once said, "Elegance is refusal". That speaks to me of refusal to be a slave to trends.  Refusal to carry oneself differently whether wearing an evening gown or a pair of jeans.  Refusal to go straight for "sexy" instead of letting the imagination entice.

I love that there's no price tag for elegance!  This is a thrifted vintage dress that cost $5 and a thrifted Chico's long blouse that I shelled out $2 for!!  Truly the. best. blouse. EVER!  The collar is made to stand up perfectly!

Finished off with my favorite over the knee leather boots, a pair of silver hoops, and my favored red nails.  I can't tell you how great I felt in this!!  If there is an outfit that just FEELS like me, this is it!

I just thrifted a pair of black leather flat heeled boots for $5.  I could have worn those with this and the whole look would be about $12!  

I leave you with a final thought from Mr. Benjamin Disraeli that really speaks to me:

"Teach us that wealth is not elegance, that profusion is not magnificence, that splendor is not beauty."

Purging my closet....being creative, not consuming.....

Before we moved to a different city a year and a half ago, I had a busting at the seams closet!  And you know what?  I had NOTHING to wear!!  How can a woman have so many clothes and nothing to wear???

Well, probably because when I opened my closet, my eyes had nowhere to rest.  Just a riot of fabric and colors and clothes that don't fit, or that I'm iffy about, or I bought because I thrifted it cheap.  The last one is a huge lesson I've learned...thrift like you retail....if you don't love it, I don't care if they're GIVING it to you, DON'T take it!

Anyway, beyond shopping secondhand first, I also want to make the most of the space and the clothes I have.  Over the past year and a half, I've seriously purged.  And I continue to purge!

Whenever I open my closet and see something for which I've lost that loving feeling....it's GONE!  And I mean GONE!  I'm brutal about this.  I want to open my closet and see nothing but items I aboslutely love!!  If I love the item, I can create a look I love...pretty hard to do when I'm apathetic about my clothes.

I've even paired down my leather skirts!  I have given up a couple because they no longer fit.  I didn't think I had really lost weight, but the two I've purged just didn't hug my hips the way I think pencil skirts should.  Soooooo....those skirts went into a project in which I used them to cover my dining chairs! More on that in another post, but I have to tell you, I feel pretty uptown with my suede cushioned chairs!!!

If you can believe it, I've even pared down my shoes!  I truly LOVE my boots and so I've lined them up on the floor of my closet and rolled up magazines to put in them to help them remain aright.  And by the way, remember this post about lusting after the Nine West Harper boot that retailed for $250?  Well about a month ago, I checked out the site and it was on clearance for $60!!  They didn't have the reddish brown color in my size, so I hopped on the blond leather and actually find it more wearable than the darker!!

I counted up all of the items in my closet, including shoes, boots and coats and also counted in cotton tee shirts and I came up with 84 items.

I love the idea of being creative with my wardrobe - of creating multiple looks out of the same item.  Have you seen The LBD experiment?  It completely inspires me to use my creativity and not my credit card to put together fabulous looks.  Like I mentioned on Bella's blog, my aim is to be a creative woman, not a consuming one!  

Have you ever counted the number of items you have in your closet?  Are you cool with it?

Before I let you go....don't forget to check out Bella's shop for some fresh picked vintage goodies, Terri's offerings for some of the most unique items I've ever seen,  and my ebay store...I'm running a crazy sale right now!!  Oh!  And I almost forgot!  My aunt is selling some beautiful new Doncaster items in larger sizes....gorgeous career clothing!

Doing the math.....(GASP!!!)

I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love me some Glamourai!  Seriously, she always looks effortless and gorgeous and seems like the nicest girl!

That being said....

As I was reading her post today, I scrolled down to the outfit credits and clicked on every link, curious as to the cost of the individual pieces and therefore, the entire outfit.  Here's what I came up with:

Timo Weiland Jacket:  $275 (on sale from $915)
White + Warren Sweater:  $295
Vince t-shirt:  $60
Rebecca Taylor Pants:  $395
Gucci Bag:  $3,950
Jimmy Choo Boots:  $1,395

GRAND TOTAL:  $6,370

Now it's absolutely no business of mine how much ANYONE spends on clothes.  And it's possible that these companies loaned Kelly these clothes to get exposure.   But whatever the case, all I'm saying is that this isn't the planet I live on and I totally can't relate.  In fact, thousands of dollars on a single outfit is, in my very humble opinion, bordering on obscene.

Or maybe I'm just turning into a communist....(shaking head and TOTALLY kidding!)

What say you?  Can you relate?  Are blogs like Kelly's completely aspirational and not intended to be reality based?  Is this what being a "top tier" blogger means nowadays?