What's beautiful today? Vintage Monet Ads

When I was a little girl, I'd LOVED to peruse fashion magazines, imagining that I would grow up to be a woman as sophisticated as the ones pictured.  The Monet ads were always sooooo enchanting!  I love how the jewelry highlights the women's faces not necessarily the jewelry itself.  The make up, the stylying:  Pure femininity and glamour!

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I AM beautiful! It's the STANDARD that got ugly!

Don't you just love Norma Desmond's confidence?  Okay, so it may be rooted in psychotic delusion, but you gotta love a woman that commits!  Seeing this movie makes me of the standards we have of beauty.  After watching this clip, I thought to myself, "I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly!"  Imagine Bill Holden turning to a woman today and saying...

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman over 40.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who has hips.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who has smile lines around your eyes.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman with gray hair.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman that's bigger than a Sz 6.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who doesn't wear a D cup.  You used to be beautiful!"

Guess what Bill Holden!

I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly!

And the standard HAS certainly gotten ugly. 



The modern standard for beauty seems to get more and more demanding in it's appetite to me met.  What was considered beautiful 20 or 30 years ago, now seems like a bad joke.  No doubt, if Marilyn Monroe were alive today, she'd be told to go on a diet.  If  Jackie Kennedy had aspirations today, she'd be admonished to get her teeth fixed.  This isn't being mean, it's simply the reality in our culture today.   And what's interesting is that women haven't changed, only the standard of beauty has changed.

A demanding standard


You know what makes the beauty standard so ugly?    It's demanding.  Demeaning.  Fickle.  Impossible to satisfy. The standard says, "You're not skinny enough!  Only skinny is beautiful!"  And so we diet and deprive ourselves until we've reached that elusive Sz 2 (or at least as small as we can get) only to hear the standard say, "Oh, cool!  You're skinny!  But in losing all the weight, you lost your boobs!  UGLY!"  Oh okay, well thank goodness there are breast implants.  Whew!  Crisis averted.   The standard teases us with, "Gee, if only you didn't have those laugh lines around your eyes, you could really be a looker!"  Off we go to get wrinkles botoxed or stretched off our faces.  Surely now that insatiable standard will be satisfied.  But nooooo, "Wow!  What did you do to your face?!  You can't even express an emotion on your face!"    Or how about this standard quip?  "A woman has to be young to be beautiful."  And so we buy every cream that promises us a youthful glow.  We try to adjust our wardrobes so that we can still make our womanly selves appear more "girl like".    And even for that we get, "Haven't you heard?  Women over 35 aren't supposed to wear a mini skirt!  Can't you act your age?!"

There have always been differing and changing views of what is seen as beautiful in a woman.  And, as women, we jump on the treadmill trying to keep up with them.  I mean, what woman doesn't want to be thought of as beautiful?  I know I do!  I don't think it makes me shallow.  I think it makes me human!   Call me crazy, but I think ALL women are beautiful.  And I'm not talking about the "Well, she has such a good heart" kind of beauty, I'm talking about genuine attractive beauty.  Just like we are.  All different shapes and sizes.  All different ethnicities.  Whatever your weight.  Whatever your age.   So the reality is that I don't need to change.  And neither do you.  The only thing that needs to change is the fact that we give a crap at all what some marketing agency or industry tells us what is and isn't beautiful.

So the next time that ad or commercial says to you, "Hey I know you.  You used to be beautiful!"  You just hold your head high and say with confidence:

I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly.

Letting my body just BE.....

Have you read Vahni's latest post on Feel Fit February?  If you haven't click over, read it and come back please!  And while I was typing this, I clicked over and she already has a new post about the scale, so please read it as well.  I think you'll either see yourself or many of your friends in how Vahni describes her relationship with the scale.  
Body obsession has been a theme of my life.  My epitaph could read "She always wanted her mother" or "She dieted"!  Because I've spent the bulk of my life doing both of those.  And it doesn't make for a happy or content existence. Think about the demands we make on our bodies.  We expect it to give us....

• Our desired weight number
• Our desired waist size
• Our desired thigh, hips, butt, bust size
• Our desired clothing size
• Our desired proportions
• Immune against sickness

Surely, if our bodies could talk to us audibly, they'd be saying, "Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?!"

Why, really WHY is it so hard to just be thankful for our bodies?  Why do we see our appearance as a barometer of how desirable we are?  Why does a number on a scale or the fit of a pair of jeans control our mood, our self esteem?  Why do intelligent, bright, creative and beautiful women obsess over something as fickle and superficial as weight/size?

No finger pointing here, because as I've said, this has been a struggle for me and I'm just OVER it!  At 46 years old, I don't want to head into my 50's STILL obsessing about my weight.  

I have a wonderful friend who is a trainer and an athlete.  Mandy and I have worked together and had TONS of conversations about weight and our/most women's obsession with it.  I love her healthy attitude toward her body. She feeds it real food and works out.   Mandy admonishes her clients to "let your body just BE"; stop trying to GET it to look a certain way".  Isn't this brilliant!  What a concept!!  Let our bodies BE!  Treat our bodies with kindness.  Feed my body well with the food it needs.  Rest it well.  Think on good things and relax the brain.  And then, wherever my body "lands" after that, that's where it supposed to be.  

And that's what I'm trying to live now!  Just let my body BE!

By the way, is this a cultural phenomenon among American women?  Do women in other countries give much thought to the size or weight of their bodies?   If you have any answers, I'm all ears!

Blouse:  Silk, Ellen Tracy, thrifted  Boots:  Jessica Simpson via TJ Maxx  Pants:  J Crew  

  Like how I used a butterfly sticker to cover the dumpsters??

While I'm not usually a fan of embellishments, I do love the corset laces in the back of the boots!

Okay, so I had to put on a bit for my sweet baby!  He played photographer and I played DIVA!

Saturday morning elegance.....Old Hollywood Style

How about some Kay Francis this morning? Gorgeous. Minimalist. Not traditionally "girly" but supremely elegant and feminine!

NUETP: A Hand-Me-Down

NUETP (Never UnderEstimate The Power)
My aunt gave me this dress along with a bag of other unwanted clothes of hers for me to either sell, keep or donate.  The interesting thing about this dress is that it's not something I think I would have picked out for myself.  I mean, I probably wouldn't have even considered taking it into a dressing room!  I didn't think it was me.  But, hey, if she's just GIVING clothes away, I'll give it a shot!
And I'm soooooo glad I did!  It's easy to wear.  It's got a gorgeous print.  It's buffet friendly!  C'mon! Nuff said!
And since the dress pretty much speaks for itself, I only had to had my favorite boots (which, by the way, make everything look just a little bit better) and I had a great look that felt very "elegant bohemian". 

Dress:  label was taken out, so I have no idea   Boots:  Nine West

And a couple of weeks earlier, I wore the dress as a blouse with my favorite leather skirt!  Seriously, if I ever had to make a run for it fast; I'd be grabbing this skirt on the way out the door!  I've also worn it here, here, and here.

Dress:  Same  Boots:  Same Leather skirt:  Vintage and thrifted

So the moral of the story is, hand-me-downs are good.   The price is right AND sometimes, it helps push you out of your comfort zone!

And if you're so inclined, check out my other NUETP posts here.

Ode to the glossy lip!

Maybe it's because I'm a child of the 70s/80s, but I just ADORE a glossy lip!  I remember as a middle schooler, laquering up my lips and talking to myself in the mirror.  I just felt soooooo sophisticated and glamorous and my speech was soooooooo expressive.  Okay, so maybe I spent too much time in my imagination when I was a kid, but what can I say?  The idea of glamour has always captivated me.  And, no matter how you slice it, a glossy lip is just GLAMOROUS!!

Matte lips come and go, but the glossy look never goes out of style!  

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I LOVE me some Lynda Carter!!

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I remember carrying this in my purse!  There was even a chocolate flavor!

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While Cher would have a difficult time NOT looking fabulous, the glossy lip just sets off her face!

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I think this is my favorite of the bunch!  A clean look and a lip that stands out!

"If I saw this at Walmart, would I still like it?"

Have you seen the I Love Lucy episode where they go to Paris and Lucy insists that she has to have a very expensive Parisian designer dress?  Not one in particular, but ANY one actually, because, well....IT'S PARIS!  And we all know that Paris is THE final word on what's fashionable.
The punch line of the show is that Ricky and Fred have dresses made for them using burlap sacks and horse feed bags, and have the designer label sewn into said dresses!  Well Lucy and Ethel are thrilled!  As they dine at a local outdoor cafe, feeling "Oh so chic!!"; Fred and Ricky can no longer contain their amusement and give up the gag, to the horror of the girls.  The following day, berated and humbled, the husbands have consented to purchase the real deal for there wives.   As they're all sitting at the same cafe, the models from the famous Parisian fashion house walk by wearing the EXACT same outfits (and coming off "Oh so chic!!") that were the butt of the joke the day before!  
And while that makes for a hilarious bit, aren't we really the same?  I've seen the below picture of Anna Dello Russo all over the street style blogs a while back (shows you how long I've been sitting on this post!) with comments lauding her style and creativity.  Apparently Ms. Dello Russo can do no wrong when it sartorially speaking.
But do we really believe that?  If I walked into my local Starbucks to pick up a Cafe Misto and a woman walked in wearing that hat, would I clasp my hands to my chest, throw my head back and swoon over the fashion statement she was making?  Probably not.  In my opinion, it's a silly hat that isn't practical or flattering and for the most part, serves only the purpose of garnering attention.  

But it's amazing how our perspective is changed when A) A fashion icon wears something or B) It's a designer label.  Our label love is the delight of design houses everywhere!

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Case in point:  Do we REALLY like Carrie's outfit that she wore to a Middle Eastern Market?  Or have we been TRAINED to like it because, after all, Carrie Bradshaw is Fearless Fashion Icon?

If style is performance art, then I get it....it's all good.  But if style/fashion (I know they're not the same, but I'm making them quasi synonymous for the sake of this post) is about putting one's best foot forward and showcasing OURSELVES, then sporting labels for the sake of labels is counter productive and, dare I say, kind of silly?  But don't we know this already?  Even though we may get caught up in the fashion game every now and then, don't we all really know what's for show and what's really wearable; regardless of the label?

I used to love to shop or magazine peruse with my mom.  Often, we'd find ourselves critiquing designer looks with the question, "If I saw this at Walmart, would I still like it?"  If the answer is "No" then it's "No".

If that Marant shoe is fabulous, then by any other name, it will still be fabulous.  If not, then it wasn't so hot to begin with!