Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Body Contentment vs Body Happiness


Gap Wool Sweater:  Thrifted, Vintage Leather Skirt:  Thrifted, BCBG Wedges:  Thrifted, Bangles:  Thrifted



See this body?   It's not the smallest it's capable of being.  It's true!  Through really vigorous exercise, I've gotten myself down to a size 6 and at my smallest, was even trying on some size 4s!  All the while weighing in at just under 140 pounds.  Great accomplishment, right?  I certainly thought so at the time.  In fact, most of my life has been spent either fretting over my body's size or shape OR trying to break it's stubborn will and suborn it to my idealized mental image of what I wanted it to look like.

When I look back through the years, I can only think, "What a futile life's purpose!"  Because it really was a life's purpose.  Trying to have model thin thighs monopolized my thoughts.  My pants size became the obsession of my brain.  And all of my angst was rewarded by the shear delight of going into a department store and "fitting into" a smaller size.  And because there's ALWAYS one size smaller, my angst was never relieved and my lust for being satisfied with what I saw in the mirror was never sated.

Through that decades long journey, I've come to a conclusion.  As small as one CAN get is probably not where their body's meant to be.  That's why those 10 pounds usually always find their way back on.    We're not failures.  Our body is trying to tell us that we're not SUPPOSED to be that size!  Just because you can GET to a size 2 isn't proof that it's the right size for you.    I could attain a size 6, but maintaining that size would require herculean effort and time.

We hear so much talk about body image and body acceptance.  And that's a GOOD thing.  But it saddens me that it's even an issue at all.  How unfortunate that we put unattainable or unMAINtainable body shape standards on ourselves at all!  For some reason, women (more than men) make such a connection between happiness and the size of jeans we wear!  I certainly did!  And if I'm being brutally honest with you and myself, every now and then that mindset still wants to creep in.  It takes discipline to break the habitual thinking that started in my preteens.

The thing about happiness, though, is that it's usually circumstantially based.  When the skinny jeans fit; we're happy.  When they don't; we're depressed.  When we like what the scale reads; we're  happy.  When we don't; we're blue.  Do you see that pattern?   And we can't even deny it, because how many times do we get dressed in the morning and try putting on something that's not too tight, only to find our day is ruined because we now see ourselves as fat?  I've seen (and been there myself) so many women who step on a scale happy as a clam because they just KNOW they'd be lighter than they were the day before.  And when they don't see the number they were expecting, like a card in the hand of a magician....happiness disappears.

So, while I'm not the HAPPIEST I've ever been with my body (remember how giddy I was over a fleeting size 6!); I'm absolutely the most content with the ol' bod!  I'm content with the fact that I'm strong.  I'm content with larger calves that now hang from my shins like a rotisserie chickens, not dangle back and forth from them like chandelier earrings!  I'm content with my muscular legs, even if they're not exactly small.  They can climb, walk for hours and kick some butt if need be!  I'm content with my poochy tummy, because it reminds me that this amazing creation  that is my body, housed four healthy children!  I'm content with my arms because they're strong enough to embrace my husband and my children in a honkin' big bear hug!

 I'm content with the woman I see in the mirror.  I'm content with this body.  And I've come to realize that  contentment is so much more fulfilling than fickle happiness.

Photobucket

14 comments:

  1. Love, love this post, and love you for writing it! It's like medicine for the soul. xoxoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, people are going to think we are collaborating....I just put in my post for tomorrow (haven't published it yet) but it is about accentuating our positives. So, hear's to you once again...I was inspired by Tim Gunn on his new show The Revolution , when he talked about body acceptance! But, I'm not going to change the post,because I think it is important for all of us to discuss this. Too many of us get really depressed over the way our bodies look!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post Serene. It is really hard to accept one's body, but it is really the only way we can learn to be truly happy with ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I watched my mother define her life by her size and never understood it. Just last year at 87, she announced that she was not going to buy any attractive clothes to fit "this body". I told her she had been saying the same thing about losing weight for nearly 30 years. She answered back that it had only been 17 years. And she still doesn't get it. Looking the best you can at the size you are is an important message. I love seeing it put out on the Internet. Vogue Magazine isn't helping. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the aqua colour on you. Very striking. You have a lovely figure and to be honest, if you wear your clothes to fit your body shape then every woman can look fabulous. Great choice of outfit.

    Miss Bias : )
    www.missbias.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very profound and very true. Wonderful post Serene.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    ReplyDelete
  7. AWESOME post!!! And so true. I'm not defined by the number on the scale or label.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gotta love turqoise. Quite a statement combined with the neutral cardigan.

    I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Now my mantra is ..be friends with the menopausal body...its hard tho! Thanks for the encouragement....
    And that skirt is leather! Gutta have me one of those!

    ReplyDelete
  10. ; oopsey forgot You changed your header again? Looks great!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well said! I think it's hard this time of year too. I know that I always add 5-10 pounds of winter weight that usually comes off without trying too hard when the weather warms again.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Self acceptance! It seems to be one of the answers to inner peace.

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOVE. THIS. POST. You share wisdom that we need to hear everyday! You celebrate your body- while you accept it. Is this why you are so beautiful? You radiate true beauty- does that come from compassionate acceptance.

    I love you, Serene. Thank you for taking the time to post this- and say this message so eloquently. You are the Eloquent Bohemian as well as the Elegant Boheme.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hallo wunderschöne frau..dein foto gefällt mir..du bist echt süsse..hübsche.du siehst super sexy im lederrock aus...geiler weiter lederrock gefällt mir wow geiler lederrock....würde gerne das mal live sehen wollen wenn du den lederrock trags....l.g.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! ~Serene