Sunday, December 12, 2010

You like it? It's YOURS!





When I was in college in Albuquerque, I would go to the flea markets on Saturdays.  One Saturday I found a really fabulous ring in a southwestern design with a large pink stone.  The ring itself was pretty big and I LOVED it!  After many years, the bloom was off the rose and I rarely wore the ring… sat neglected in my jewelry box.  One Sunday morning I was getting ready for church and I noticed the ring.  I thought, “I’m going to wear this to church today.  The first person that compliments it (if any), I’m going to ask them, ‘If you had a ring like this would you wear it?’” and if they answered, “Yes!” then I would take it off and give it to them.  My whole thinking behind it was why should I keep something that I’m just “myeh?  Whatever….” about if someone else is “Oh my gosh I love that!” about it?  It just seemed selfish to me.  So, when I went to church, a woman named Dee Keziah was the first person to compliment this big unusual ring.  When I asked her if she’d wear it, she said, “Of course!”. 

“Then it’s all yours”, I told her as I took it off and gave it to her.  She seemed so surprised and a little taken aback.  Naturally her first response was, “Oh no, I couldn’t”!  When I assured her that it had been my plan all along, she felt better about accepting the ring.  It was wonderful to see her wear it after that!  It taught me such a great lesson that I still try to practice today.  Why should I keep something that I feel ambivalent about when I find someone who really loves it?  It’s so easy to just give it to them!

I’ve done that quite a few times over the years, and probably not as much as I should have, but there has never been a time that I regretted it.  That’s exactly what happened with these boots.  I picked these up at the Goodwill a few months back.  I loved them when I got them and when it turned colder, I was surprised that everytime I put them on to wear them, I just wasn’t feeling it.  I decided to wear them last week and when my friend, Felicia, saw them; she said, “Oh Serene, I love your boots!  I’ve been looking for some just like that!  The bell went off!  I’m thinking, “I won’t wear these but maybe twice this year.  Why not pass them to Felicia, since she really appreciates them more than I do?”  That’s what I did!  I told Felicia, “Girly, when I’m done wearing these today; they are all yours!”   To make sure she felt comfortable accepting them, I assured her that I really wouldn’t wear them, so it just made sense for her to take them.  When I brought them to her the next day, I knew they had found their home!

This is such an easy way for me to give.  It’s not budgeted, premeditated or planned.  It’s just a spur of the moment realization that something that I have means more to someone else than it does to me.  Once I realize that, it seems so necessary to let it go.  Honestly, I’ve been given so much (materially and emotionally) by so many wonderful people.  I can truly say that there’s not a thing in the world that I need and don’t already have.   Hope this doesn’t sound like a preachy post.  It’s just another way to look at the things you have.  We all have stuff that really isn’t that important to us; but to someone else…….it’s just what they’ve always wanted!

SWEATER:  Wrap sweater worn backward.  Purchased at H&M years ago.

PANTS:  J Crew via hand-me-down from my aunt

BOOTS:   Thrifted

NECKLACE:  Hand-me-down from my aunt


  1. Serene, What a great story! I love this idea and I think I will wear something this week that I can do the same thing with...this kind of joyful gift giving can be contagious and what a great Christmas activity!! Your hair looks gorgeous in these pictures by the way!! (Don't give it to anybody!!)

  2. This is a wonderful philosophy to have. I have done this with students and books, but haven't done so with clothing...although there IS a pair of funky earrings I'll probably send to a fellow blogger for Christmas.

    I agree with Pam that this might be an excellent holiday challenge to organize!

  3. Wow I love the ring story - I'm utterly gob-smacked by your theory, it makes perfect sense! If you give something away to someone you know, you'll still get to see the item anyway:).
    I've given bag-loads of clothes away to friends but haven't done it this way - I'm going to try it!! xo

  4. This is fantastic! I love the ring story! I'm going to have to try that out some day! (And you look lovely!)

  5. My friend did that to me once--gave me the earrings right out of her ears! I was very touched. It's such a great gesture--

  6. Thanks girlies for the comments! If any of you do find the opportunity to give someone something on the spot like this; I'd love to hear about it. The cool thing about it is that you know the person likes it because they compliment it before you even give it to them. I've given away stuff before to people and I really don't know if they even liked it! LOL They may have just been polite. Have a great evening! ~Serene

  7. So good! That's why I love to thrift shop- I can afford to be generous.

  8. I have done something similar myself. I think that somethings belong to other people, and we are carriers to get to them.
    How brilliant of you Serene.
    I love your name, in Spanish means calm.

  9. What a great idea!

    Could you show closeups of how you did the wrap sweater backward? I'd like to try it, but need more detail.


Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! ~Serene