Monday, April 25, 2011

~I comment on your comments.....

Dress:  Vintage Thrifted, Belts:  Thrifted, Wedge Sandals:  Nine West Thrifted.  Pin:  Thrifted

The responses that I got over  "No Comment! (?)" was wonderful and so well spoken....well typed actually!  It seems as if, even though we all slap on our Blogging "game faces"; there is definitely some frustration out there (myself included) and a coming to a point where bloggers are rethinking how we blog and whose rules we follow. 

With the mind boggling numbers of new fashion blogs, it's just hardly even possible to give to everyone the attention that we've believed that we're supposed to give. Reva, of Reva's Rags to Roses, expressed what I imagine to be a univeral thought when she commented, "I liked the no comment, no pressure part of SU's blog because it does take the pressure out of commenting when you really don't have stuff to say, and if you don't comment for a little while, your own comments go away.  Comments always make my day!".  Oh man!  I'm there!  When I find myself rushed for time and I don't get to comment as much, my comment numbers go down the tank! 

 So are comments basically tit for tat?  If that's the case.  Do they really mean anything?  Like Anne of Wobi Sobi commented, "I want them there because they feel inspired or they like what I do, not because they feel like they have to."  I'm feelin' you Anne!   Don't we all want genuine commenters?  I'd much rather sacrifice the number of comments for commenters who genuinely have something to say to me; not that feel like it's proper ettiquete.  Don't get me wrong.  I ADORE comments and am so thankful for them.  I truly just don't want anyone to feel obligated.  I think Leia of Leia's Delights said it best when she talked about the thoughts that go through her head, " 'She comments on my blog all the time and I feel obliged to comment back but... I can't relate to her and don't really like her outfits!'  It's hard. I want to be sincere in my commenting, but obviously don't want to say anything negative!"  As for me, I'd rather not post a comment at all than to say something negative.

So what DO you do when you're commenting just to be nice?  How many blogs can you really follow and have something pertinent to say to all of them.  To be honest, no one I know does this better than Terri, of Rags Against the Machine.  I mean to tell you, I will stumble upon a blog in the far nether regions of the internet.  I mean, I'm thinking I'm the Marco Polo of blog surfing.  I'll go to comment on some obscure blog only to fine that Terri's made a comment about 12 comments ahead of mine!  I don't know how she does it, but she ALWAYS is so genuine!  Not an easy thing to do when you're commenting alot. 

I think a sweet newcomer to my blog, Gracey, Fashion for Giants (check out her's FABULOUS!) said it so nicely.  "As for comments. I'm just never sure how to handle them. For awhile I tried to respond to everyone who commented on my blog. But, I wonder if it would be better if I just commented on their blogs. Either way I support comments because I know that new comments make me very happy and I hope they make other bloggers happy as well."  One of the nicest things about comments is that it lets us know that someone really is out there looking at our blog.  That all our hard work is not in vain.   And to close, I think Bella, of Citizen Rosebud, gives us all some wonderful nuggets of wisdom.  She summed it up nicely when she said, "I am a bleeding heart so my blogroll is now swollen and distended with a blogroll impossible to read. Sigh. I think we both need to take a deep breath, and do whatever we choose to do with joy, and not an ounce of obligation or guilt." 

I couldn't agree more, Bella!  Let's all take the pressure off of ourselves AND each other.  This may make my comment numbers drop, but I'm sincere when I say this.  Please don't ever feel pressure to comment on my blog.  Even if I've commented on's really okay.  Or if you just want to use comments to just say, "HI Serene!!", that would be great too!  Let's face it, you're not always going to like what I put together.  I just want you to like ME!!!!!  ( Sly wink, huge grin and hugs all around!)
Oh yeah!  Isn't this dress WONDERFUL!?!?!


  1. Hi Serene, I guess I missed the comment was really busy over the weekend. Style Underdog's new format really kind of bothered me...while I do occasionally feel comment pressure...I also know that relationships are built through the comments. I wrote about this a little bit today commenting on the death of The Style Crone's husband over the weekend. I think SU's site is now cold and I being too harsh?? The joy of blogging is through building the relationships and the community. If that goes away, then why are we here. I did not know about your conversation, but I saw this discussed a couple of other places as if the idea was attractive because it is care-free. I am not sure I get why we would take the time to do this without the realtional side of it. We all put pressure on oursleves to do more...I guess each blogger just has to set their own boundaries...and Style Underdog I should not be so harsh.

  2. Oh, I'm so glad I found your blog. Like others I follow a number of blogs and there are some I relate to more than others - yours is shaping up to be one I relate well to and I think that's fabulous.

    I know what you mean about the pressure to comment just because someone has commented on your blog. I used to feel that way and if it's a new commenter, I make sure I still do comment, but for my regular readers/commenters, who I'm also a regular follower/reader of, I know I don't have to comment all the time and I hope they know it too. I am reading them, I'm just not always commenting.

    Also, yes, that dress is awesome and I'm completely envious. The colors and the shape are just amazing. You look stunning.

  3. Pam, no worries girly! Actually, you and I are in complete agreement! That was actually my point....I could do without followers, ads, etc....but comments are what makes my blog more than just my personal ode to ME! LOL I just don't want anyone to feel obligated to leave a comment if they really don't have anything to say. You are so right...the joy of blogging is through the building of relationships! Love you!!!

    Gracey, I do the same. If it's someone that is a new commenter, I always reciprocate (or try my best to....sometimes it DOES get away from me). If someone follows my blog, I follow theirs back. It just feels like the considerate thing to do. BTW, I used to live in Oregon and I'm soooooooo envious you get to live there! Hugs!

  4. Beautiful dress. Great print and colors. And the shoes are nice, too.

  5. i'm definitely sporadic with commenting and blog following. i just don't always have time so i can easily fall off the grid in that regard. when i read comments i've received, it reminds me to see what those "commenters" have been up to. so for me it's not a tit-for-tat scenario, but rather a reminder for me when i get too busy. does that make sense? i follow 10 blogs on a regular basis (yours being one of them), but if i'm overwhelmed and super busy, i might just read and not comment due to time constraints. a lot of my blog browsing is done at work ~ shhhh....

  6. I like you Serene. Will you be my friend? :)

    Honestly, thanks for the comment. Sometimes, I probably over-do it...but honestly, the blogosphere is huge. I am always resisting the urge to stay in one small area of it because I LIKE meeting new bloggers, who give me ideas I would not have had otherwise.

    I am beginning to learn that I probably need to take each weekend OFF for my sanity. I notice though the various stages a blogger goes through and it is interesting to me to watch my own thoughts about this.

  7. You are so right about Terri.I've visited quite a few new blogs lately only to find that Terri has been there already leaving very thoughtful comments.The same goes for fashion for giants.
    recently I try to leave a comment both for those who commented on my blog and over at their blog.I feel it's the most appropriate thing to do.
    Other than that I prefer to have quality comments from a few people out there than quantity.

  8. You've all captured the dilemma very well. I try to walk the line: regularly supporting blogs that I like and bloggers who support me, but not necessarily commenting on every post. (I also make a special effort to support newer bloggers who have fewer followers and comments). When I comment, I try to make sure that I have a genuine reaction or insight to offer(but I may not always succeed!).

    And I don't want people to feel obligated, either, even though I love comments. I'm actually amazed by how often friends -- usually non-bloggers -- will reveal in conversation that they really liked a post they didn't comment on. Sometimes people read and enjoy, but we just don't know about it.

  9. Hi Serene, So wise. I comment when I have something to say. As I wrote in my post, comments to me, a true presents from people who care enough take the time to say hello.

  10. love the dress it looks smashing on you and it fits you like a glove. the print is so exuberayting and i love the orange color. perfect combination with the belts and the shoes, absolutely gorgeous.

    well i understand your post, but the thing is you have to comment because you have to get noticed. it is like you said: millions of blogs are out there... you don't do it for the fame, but you love to get noticed. this is who we are, it is in our genes. but it is such a fun way to discover new fabulous blogs. and i only wright a sincere comment, i never lie

  11. I'm a nonblogging reader. Two observations - if the blog's comments address something that's an issue or ask a question, I like to see some indication that the blogger has seen the comments. Either in a response in the comments or a later blog post.

    Also, I have tried following a couple of my usual blogs on a Kindle subscription, which only allows reading the original post, and it's a totally different experience, especially those I normally would add a comment to and those where the comments are often better than the original post (!).


  12. Wow...this thing turned out to be BIG. LOL I agree with pam as you well know. Terri is the super-logger--insightful commenter! How does she do it?
    So for all of us moving forward; comment only when we have something to say, and for friends, a Hello! will do! Sounds good to me!

  13. oh and I love that dress! I remember that print...I had it in a blouse!

  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  15. Firstly, that dress IS lovely, Serene. You look beautiful in orange and I love the tropical print.
    The last couple of your posts are fascinating. When I started blogging I notice a new follower and follow them right back but ended up with hundreds of blogs in my blogroll which caused me to miss some of my favourite blogger's posts. I try to be discerning now, I only follow people who I find interesting and inspiring, that way commenting is a pleasure and I'm not struggling to find something to say.
    It's definately a case of quantity of quality, I'd rather have regular readers leaving interesting comments than hundreds of followers with only their own interests at heart. xxx

  16. Bella, I didn't mean to delete your comment!!! I fat fingered my touch screen on my sorry!!! Big love to you!!! ~Serene

  17. oh comments! sometimes there can be pressure to comment on someone's blog who always comments on your blog - even if you don't particularly like their site. and i'm sure there are people who comment on my site because i comment on there site!

    interesting post though - nice to read all the perspectives!

    loving your dress too :)

  18. I agree...I want to tell my regular blog friends, "I love it when you stop by and leave comments. But please, don't ever feel pressured! Comment when you have time and when you really want to say something! I'll do the same. Let's never become chores or obligations to each other."

    I find that if I'm patient, I'll get excited over occasional entries by even the blogs I find it most difficult to identify with. That's when I leave a comment, so they know I'm there, and still watching, and that I notice and appreciate their attention toward me.

  19. Great dress!! I love your blog!!I follow you!!

  20. Sincere comment 1 - I don't have time to visit every blog and every blogger and I don't feel like people should have to comment on my blog if they a) don't have the time b) don't feel they have anything to say. I really think this whole commenting thing puts a stupid and unnecessary amount of pressure on people and I'm very glad you've raised the issue! If people want to comment and visit irregularly I'm completely fine with that - why wouldn't I be? It's just plain silly to expect people to read and comment on every post you put out. Who has the time? If people are doing tit for tat commenting than I would also question their sincerity but sometimes I find a comment on my blog works like a "hey there how you doing, gimme a call when you can" and I'll follow the link back to say hi if I haven't done so for a while.
    Sincere comment 2 - this is a seriously fabulous dress! What an awesome print!!

  21. Just found your blog and I love it. You have so much spirit.
    Please feel free to nocomment!

  22. I couldn´t agree more with all of them.

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Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! ~Serene