I think I may be done

I've become really frustrated and disillusioned over having an internet presence in general and social media in particular.  I feel like this morning I had an epiphany.  Basically, this isn't me and it isn't what I want to BE me.

My blog has become a mostly unenjoyable responsibility for the past year or more.  I don't regularly update and yet I find that I'm constantly thinking about things I "should" blog about.  It's crazy to literally THINK in blog posts, but that's where I am.  And what's even more crazy is that what repels me about blogging and social media is the very thing that's almost addictive to me.  So often, I feel like I'm the writer of my own "Truman Show", except that I KNOW everyone  some are watching.  And it just feels wrong.

I'm sick of myself taking pictures of the most menial things so that I can post them on Instagram.  I'm tired of needing feedback and comments to feel good about something that I do or write.  I'm embarrassed that I have gotten sucked into a need, or at the very least, a definite want of ego stroking.  I remember years ago when I got dressed and LOVED it and didn't give a thought to how it would photograph.  I remember doing things and enjoying things without taking a picture or giving commentary.  I remember when I just lived my life.  When I wasn't attached to the computer.  When I wasn't a perpetual voyeur.

The computer has become so much of my daily routine. Checking my blog.  My blog roll.  My twitter.  My Instagram.  Bottom line is......the problem is me. This online presence is just NOT the person I want to be. Others seem to be able to balance it all and take it in stride.  I'm not one of them.  I want to just enjoy my life and my family.  I want to learn some new things for the sake of learning them, not so I can post, tweet or Instagram them.  I want to maybe learn to knit.  Read more.  Take more walks.  Go do things with friends more.  Maybe volunteer at a retirement home.  I want to write.    I used to really enjoy writing, but along the way, I've gotten so self conscious.  I know me.  I'm at my best the fewer voices I have in my head.

So, I'm thinking it's time to step away from blogging AND twitter and maybe Instagram at some point. Maybe I'll be back with another blog later.  Never say never, right?  But for now, I don't even want to think about that.   I want to not NEED to be seen, to be heard, to be complimented, to be noticed.

No need to comment as I won't be checking back on here.  But I did want to leave my email in case any of you want to write and keep in touch privately.  Here it is:  serenesineath@gmail.com  

Love and hugs everyone!!

Because we have everything.....and so much of it....

Peggy Olson:  I look at you and think, "I want what he has."

Don Draper:  Really?

Peggy Olson:  You have everything.  And so much of it.

Don Draper:  I suppose that's probably true.

                                          From Season 3 of Mad Men

As Americans, we really do have everything, especially in the eyes of most of the planet.  I know what it is to be American broke, but I have no comprehension of what it is to be poor according to so much of the world.  Poor, to me, is that I can't afford our Friday night pizza or, (bad case scenario) I'd have to downgrade my iphone. Or (worst case scenario), I'd have to cut off my cell phone.  

Much of the poor of this world struggle just to eat.  They don't have the luxury of trying to realize their dreams or potential.  They're simply trying to stay alive.....keep existing.  They're not concerned about body acceptance or self esteem.  Their concerns are much more dire and are fatal by nature.  In today's social media speak:  #thirdworldproblems NOT #firstworldproblems.

I was fortunate to be born an American.  To be honest, I'm not the most patriotic.  I don't believe the US has been blessed and favored by God above all other nations.  I can't even say that I'm proud to be an American, because I had nothing to do with it.  I was simply born into this nationality and enjoy the privileges it bestows.  But I COULD have been born in Africa.  Bangladesh.  Central America.  Or any number of countries where poverty, disease and want are a reality of daily life.  

A few months ago, my husband and I started sponsoring a child through Compassion International.  What I really loved about it is that we sponsor a particular child (in our case, Diana) and the $38 a month that we give, helps provide her with food, education, and hopefully hope.  We can correspond with her and she, with us.  We've already gotten a handwritten letter from her telling us about her life and family.

I'm always so leery of charities, too eager to turn into corporations, from my cynical point of view.   But, with this one, I read, researched and felt very comfortable that the funds we are sending really are making a difference.  And you know what?  At the end of the day, I can blow $40 a month on Starbucks without even blinking.  So, sending $38 a month to help a child who didn't have the luck to be born in my situation, really isn't a hardship at all.  I'm not deluding myself that I'm Mother Theresa over here!

If this moves you at all, I'd ask you to check out Compassion International and consider helping. There are children who have been waiting close to a year for a sponsor, and some are in Aids affected areas and areas that are high risk for exploitation. Heartbreaking, really.   You can make a one time donation, sponsor a child, or meet critical needs.  They are very transparent with how the money is spent and financial integrity seems to be a priority.

Have a grand and glorious Fourth everyone and God Bless the WORLD!!

Again, if you're so moved, I'd be very thankful for you to Tweet or Facebook or move this post on in any way.  Hugs and love all around!

The Sweet Wisdom of Bono

As I age in my physical life and my life as a believer in Christ, I'm more and more moved by grace.  Specifically God's grace and when I see grace in others, in my world, in relationships and exchanges.  In a "I worked for everything I got!" world, Bono clarifies so succinctly what it would take me chapters to express....

“The ones whose light will remain with me long after they have burnt out are the ones that had grace. Because it's rare that the gift comes with grace. Some of the biggest arseholes I've ever met are the most gifted. Because it's "pretty girl" syndrome. Being gifted is like being born beautiful. You don't have to work a day in a year in your life for it. You were born with it. In one sense, it's like blue blood, money, gift, or beauty. They are the things that should make you the most humble, because they are not the things you have earned. They are the things you were given. Yet, it is my experience that they male (sic) people the most spoiled. And the people who work the hardest, and who have overcome the most obstacles on their life, who have reason to beat their breasts are the most humble, sometimes. I can't get over that. it's bewildering to me. To make it through success and still have manners, to still have curiosity, intellectual curiosity, to still have some grace, to keep your dignity, that is really... rare.” 


― Bono, Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas

A good rule to follow (when it comes to dressing)

*Show your skin on the top or on the bottom....NOT both

Via and via

So I realize I have a bit of a Pruddy McPrude living inside me.  And I'm totally cool with that.  However, this isn't coming from Prudy, but rather from a concern that we've crossed some lines of appropriateness in a rush to wear whatever we want.

Legs are gorgeous!  So is a bit of decolletage!  Not a thing wrong with showing both off.  But a good rule of thumb is:

If you're showing a lot of skin on top, be more conservative on the bottom.  If you're showing a lot of leg, keep the top more covered.

Too much at both ends and it's just and eye jarring barrage of skin.

This is a rule of thumb that I use for myself and  I've passed onto my daughter.

 But what say you?  Prudish or appropriate?

Because I love the 70s and true love lasts forever.....

Vintage Denim Dress:  Available on ebay , BCBG platforms:  thrifted

Perfect wash and weight denim?  CHECK
Loose and sleeveless?  CHECK
Honkin' big silver hoops?  CHECK
Modern platforms?  CHECK
Wonderful 70s hippie chic-ness?  CHECK CHECK
Lotta look for a great price and supports ethical style?  CHECK CHECK CHECK!

I have had this listed for months now, and it's one of those pieces that I am surprised is still around.  I was playing dress up this morning with some of my inventory and fell in love with it all over again, and decided that if it doesn't sell in a couple of weeks, then it's meant to be mine!  When the weather starts to cool, I'll pair it with a tissue long sleeve tee or turtleneck and my favorite boots!

I'm happy to hook up with Patti for Visible Monday this week!!

Do you have "It"?

The original "It" girl, Clara Bow.  She wasn't the prettiest, sexiest, smartest or most talented, but she had "It".  It - that indefinable quality that transcends physical attractiveness and yet, is more compelling than sex appeal or modern day good looks.  Well, that's what the studio wanted the public to believe!  But maybe they were absolutely onto something!  

"It" is far more to be preferred than mere attractiveness.  Because, frankly, looks fade but "It" stays with you to the grave and beyond!

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"It" Qualities

Unapologetic

Humphrey Bogart was NOT traditionally good looking, but there's no question he had "It".  Can you picture Bogie wringing his hands over his overbite?  Did he ever give the impression that he wished he was a bit taller or more muscular?  Not on your life!  He was unapologetic about who he was.  He didn't try to hide his flaws because he didn't see them AS flaws!  BINGO!  That's "It"!

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Sense of fun

"It" people laugh!  They have fun!  They find humor in themselves, others and everything!  Probably because they're not overly self conscious, worried about how they look or what others are thinking.  They seem to be able to get outside of themselves and just have fun!  And that fun is infectious, making others gravitate to their presence!  Does ANYONE seem less self conscious than the Divine Miss M?  My favorite Bette Midler line?  "That's enough about me!  Let's talk about you.  What do you think of me?!"  She's hilarious and every girl's girlfriend!

Via 

Not afraid to be different...

Though not TRYING to be different.  Anyone can be different for the sake of being different, but where's the originality in that?  How is that being true to oneself?  Johnny Depp could've remained just a pretty boy actor in a sea of good looking faces in Hollywood.  But he was different and he embraced those quirks.  It's obvious watching him, that he doesn't have an affected quirkiness.  His is genuine and real!  How else can a 50 year old man pull of the looks he does?!  Because he has "It"!

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An independence from the physical

Nowadays, it seems to ALWAYS come back to the physical.  In our struggle to stand out, we end up blending in.  We try to duplicate someone else's "It" only to lose our own.  That's why celebrity faces aren't as interesting as they used to be.  Because they've been morphed into an amalgamation of what the press says are the most desired and beautiful qualities.  Big lips are in, ergo every actress is running to get lipids injected into her pucker.  Youth is "in" and maturity is "out"?  No problem.  There's a doctor who can take care of that for you!  So you'll have no unique characteristics....who cares?  You'll look "young"!

"Beauty is what's on the inside, and it reflects in your eyes.  It's not something physical."  Sophia Loren 

Sophia Loren has never seemed to get caught up in her sex appeal.  She knows that there is far more to her than her figure.  And it shows.  It truly is captured in her eyes.  And interestingly enough, as she's let go of this dependence on and definition of sex appeal, she is even sexier than ever!  

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And what does the oldest woman ever to appear in the iconic Pirelli calendar (2007 she was 72!) have to say about youth and it's appeal?

"There is a fountain of youth:  it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.  When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."

Listen, there's always going to be someone prettier, smarter, slimmer, more talented, more muscular, sexier.....basically more ANYTHING than you. 

 But "It" isn't in any of those things!  "It" is being unapologetically and unabashedly YOU! 

NUETP of the Wide Leg Jean

Never UnderEstimate The Power: The Wide Leg Jean

It's no secret that I LOVE the 70s!  And while the reasons are plentiful, I think we have to send a Thank You note to the 70s for bringing us the wide leg jean.  Flares.....bell bottoms.....wide leg.......call them what you will as long as you acknowledge their total FABULOUSNESS!!  

 
I thrifted these J Brand jeans for a mere pittance (seriously....a couple of bucks)!!   Paired it with another thrift find, a CAbi top, and Franco Sarto (purchased on ebay...."I'm not just an ebay seller.....") wedges.  Can you tell I'm feeling crazy cute right here??


I think these are the same jeans, except here, I've paired them with a thrifted Nicole Miller blouse.  I originally got this blouse with the intention of selling it, but frankly, I love it so much, I just can't let it go!

Kenneth Cole Wide leg dark denim with a thrifted blouse (THE most perfect fitting blouse ever!) and a vintage suede vest that's thrifted as well.

My J Brand jeans again with a tagless thrifted blouse and men's leather belt.

While I completely understand the universal penchant for skinny jeans, my heart belongs to the wide leg cut! The skinny, to me, feels more trendy.  The flare is simply classic!!

BONUS:  All outfits are under $10 excluding the shoes!!  (I'll ALWAYS splurge just a little bit on shoes!!!)

The Catherine Ogust "Forever Dress"

                                  Purchase                                                                          Purchase

When I came across these dresses, I just knew they were something special!  The gorgeous print. The easy  fit.  The soft cotton.  So I snatched them up right away!  (Originally, there were three of them, one has already sold)  I did some research on the brand and LOVED the concept!

Catherine Ogust for Penthouse Gallery

The name sounds like porn wear, no?  However, Catherine Ogust was a print designer for Penthouse Gallery.  The above dresses are referred to, by the brand, as The Forever Dress, because it's such a classic dress, it can be worn forever!  THAT'S the concept that I love:  a print and tailoring that never dates.  The hem can be taken up.  Wear with or without a belt.  Swap the belt out.  Or even wear in the current popular style of pencil skirt over the dress with the hem flaring out the bottom! (Info Source and a great read!)

When I look at these, I can't help but reassert, "THIS is why I love vintage!!"

As you're shopping, please don't forget to peruse Bella's store.  She has such novel vintage items!  And Terri has a growing eBay shop that exemplifies her classic style and vintage flair!  Now, more than ever, there are so many options to Shop Secondhand First!

Style and the Serenity Prayer

Most of us have heard this at least once in our life.  This morning it hit me how this sweet prayer can apply to our personal styles, especially for those of us who've left our twenties in the dust!!

In my opinion style ought to be about what I love about myself, not about what I want to change. So, in my daily life of deciding what to wear and how to wear it, decisions are being made.    Am I going to dress to hide what I've come to not like about myself (or often, what I've been TOLD not to like about myself) OR am I going to dress with acceptance, serenity and with an eye to showcase my features and personality?

We really CAN'T look like whatever we want....

We live in a society that tells us that we can look however we want.  Women are lauded for their parts not their whole and we think that if we work out the way Gwen Stefani does, we can have her legs or eat like Gwyneth Paltrow, we will have her figure.  But wise women have figured out by now, that's just not true!  I am me.  You are you.  And we can spare ourselves much time, grief and frustration by accepting what can't change and changing what we can....but as the prayer says, the key is knowing the difference!

I can change my size, but I have to accept my body shape.  All the dieting and working out in the world isn't going to change my basic body shape.  So instead of bemoaning my muscular legs, I can show them off in above-the-knee skirts and fitted jeans!

I can change my hair style, but I have to accept my hair texture.  It does me no good to take a picture of Camilla Belle to my stylist and say, "This is what I want" because our hair texture is different.  I may get the cut, but I'll never have the look!

I can change the way I apply my makeup, but I have to accept my face.  Yes.  That's right.  I have to accept the shape of my eyes, the roundness of my cheeks, the "little too much teeth" grin that I get when I'm really excited!  I know.  I know.  There's cosmetic surgery.  But there are plenty of examples of women trying to get "just the right" face, who ended up getting something else entirely!

I can change the way I dress, but I have to accept my age.  Ouch!  Now I'm just meddling, aren't I?!  Here's the dirty little secret we sometimes don't want to acknowledge to ourselves:  my age IS a factor in what I wear.  There. It's out there and I said it!  :)  There are some things that will look ridiculous on me at my age.  Certain types of shoes.  Super short skirts or shorts.  Low rise jeans.  A LOT of graphic print tees.  I can try to dress like a 20 year old all I want.  But it's never going to change the fact that I'm 46!

So what's the key in all this?  Acceptance.  

Acceptance of our features.  Our bodies.  Our age.  Our personalities.  And with that acceptance, an embrace.  I'm not talking about a grudging acceptance and having the scooter store on speed dial.  I'm talking about a celebration!   Celebrating what makes each of us unique.   Celebrating our personal style that's built around flattering our assets, not camouflaging our perceived "problem areas".

Changing what we can.  Accepting what we can't.  And having enough wisdom to know the difference!  How's that for a style devotional?!

By the way, if you've happened to stumble here without ever meeting Pam (I can't imagine!!), please do yourself a favor and give her blog a read.  Her blog is prolific when it comes to celebrating one's age and embracing change!  And another FABULOUS read is Paula!  Paula is a gorgeous example of self acceptance and wearing it well!

What is elegance?

"We must never confuse elegance with snobbery"  ~Yves Saint Laurent

"Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress"  ~Coco Chanel

"The only real elegance is in the mind; if you've got that, the rest really comes from it."  ~Diana Vreeland

For me elegance in a look is paramount!  I enjoy whimsy, a bohemian vibe, a touch of the unexpected, but at the end of it all, the overall effect must be elegant.

Cecil Beaton said, "What is elegance?  Soap and water!"  He's right!  Elegance doesn't need designer labels or a credit card.  Elegance is found in simplicity.  As Ms Chanel once said, "Elegance is refusal". That speaks to me of refusal to be a slave to trends.  Refusal to carry oneself differently whether wearing an evening gown or a pair of jeans.  Refusal to go straight for "sexy" instead of letting the imagination entice.

I love that there's no price tag for elegance!  This is a thrifted vintage dress that cost $5 and a thrifted Chico's long blouse that I shelled out $2 for!!  Truly the. best. blouse. EVER!  The collar is made to stand up perfectly!

Finished off with my favorite over the knee leather boots, a pair of silver hoops, and my favored red nails.  I can't tell you how great I felt in this!!  If there is an outfit that just FEELS like me, this is it!

I just thrifted a pair of black leather flat heeled boots for $5.  I could have worn those with this and the whole look would be about $12!  

I leave you with a final thought from Mr. Benjamin Disraeli that really speaks to me:

"Teach us that wealth is not elegance, that profusion is not magnificence, that splendor is not beauty."

Purging my closet....being creative, not consuming.....

Before we moved to a different city a year and a half ago, I had a busting at the seams closet!  And you know what?  I had NOTHING to wear!!  How can a woman have so many clothes and nothing to wear???

Well, probably because when I opened my closet, my eyes had nowhere to rest.  Just a riot of fabric and colors and clothes that don't fit, or that I'm iffy about, or I bought because I thrifted it cheap.  The last one is a huge lesson I've learned...thrift like you retail....if you don't love it, I don't care if they're GIVING it to you, DON'T take it!

Anyway, beyond shopping secondhand first, I also want to make the most of the space and the clothes I have.  Over the past year and a half, I've seriously purged.  And I continue to purge!

Whenever I open my closet and see something for which I've lost that loving feeling....it's GONE!  And I mean GONE!  I'm brutal about this.  I want to open my closet and see nothing but items I aboslutely love!!  If I love the item, I can create a look I love...pretty hard to do when I'm apathetic about my clothes.

I've even paired down my leather skirts!  I have given up a couple because they no longer fit.  I didn't think I had really lost weight, but the two I've purged just didn't hug my hips the way I think pencil skirts should.  Soooooo....those skirts went into a project in which I used them to cover my dining chairs! More on that in another post, but I have to tell you, I feel pretty uptown with my suede cushioned chairs!!!

If you can believe it, I've even pared down my shoes!  I truly LOVE my boots and so I've lined them up on the floor of my closet and rolled up magazines to put in them to help them remain aright.  And by the way, remember this post about lusting after the Nine West Harper boot that retailed for $250?  Well about a month ago, I checked out the site and it was on clearance for $60!!  They didn't have the reddish brown color in my size, so I hopped on the blond leather and actually find it more wearable than the darker!!

I counted up all of the items in my closet, including shoes, boots and coats and also counted in cotton tee shirts and I came up with 84 items.

I love the idea of being creative with my wardrobe - of creating multiple looks out of the same item.  Have you seen The LBD experiment?  It completely inspires me to use my creativity and not my credit card to put together fabulous looks.  Like I mentioned on Bella's blog, my aim is to be a creative woman, not a consuming one!  

Have you ever counted the number of items you have in your closet?  Are you cool with it?

Before I let you go....don't forget to check out Bella's shop for some fresh picked vintage goodies, Terri's offerings for some of the most unique items I've ever seen,  and my ebay store...I'm running a crazy sale right now!!  Oh!  And I almost forgot!  My aunt is selling some beautiful new Doncaster items in larger sizes....gorgeous career clothing!

Doing the math.....(GASP!!!)

I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love me some Glamourai!  Seriously, she always looks effortless and gorgeous and seems like the nicest girl!

That being said....

As I was reading her post today, I scrolled down to the outfit credits and clicked on every link, curious as to the cost of the individual pieces and therefore, the entire outfit.  Here's what I came up with:

Timo Weiland Jacket:  $275 (on sale from $915)
White + Warren Sweater:  $295
Vince t-shirt:  $60
Rebecca Taylor Pants:  $395
Gucci Bag:  $3,950
Jimmy Choo Boots:  $1,395

GRAND TOTAL:  $6,370

Now it's absolutely no business of mine how much ANYONE spends on clothes.  And it's possible that these companies loaned Kelly these clothes to get exposure.   But whatever the case, all I'm saying is that this isn't the planet I live on and I totally can't relate.  In fact, thousands of dollars on a single outfit is, in my very humble opinion, bordering on obscene.

Or maybe I'm just turning into a communist....(shaking head and TOTALLY kidding!)

What say you?  Can you relate?  Are blogs like Kelly's completely aspirational and not intended to be reality based?  Is this what being a "top tier" blogger means nowadays?

What's beautiful today? Vintage Monet Ads

When I was a little girl, I'd LOVED to peruse fashion magazines, imagining that I would grow up to be a woman as sophisticated as the ones pictured.  The Monet ads were always sooooo enchanting!  I love how the jewelry highlights the women's faces not necessarily the jewelry itself.  The make up, the stylying:  Pure femininity and glamour!

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I AM beautiful! It's the STANDARD that got ugly!

Don't you just love Norma Desmond's confidence?  Okay, so it may be rooted in psychotic delusion, but you gotta love a woman that commits!  Seeing this movie makes me of the standards we have of beauty.  After watching this clip, I thought to myself, "I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly!"  Imagine Bill Holden turning to a woman today and saying...

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman over 40.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who has hips.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who has smile lines around your eyes.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman with gray hair.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman that's bigger than a Sz 6.  You used to be beautiful!"

"Hey wait, I know you.  You're a woman who doesn't wear a D cup.  You used to be beautiful!"

Guess what Bill Holden!

I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly!

And the standard HAS certainly gotten ugly. 



The modern standard for beauty seems to get more and more demanding in it's appetite to me met.  What was considered beautiful 20 or 30 years ago, now seems like a bad joke.  No doubt, if Marilyn Monroe were alive today, she'd be told to go on a diet.  If  Jackie Kennedy had aspirations today, she'd be admonished to get her teeth fixed.  This isn't being mean, it's simply the reality in our culture today.   And what's interesting is that women haven't changed, only the standard of beauty has changed.

A demanding standard


You know what makes the beauty standard so ugly?    It's demanding.  Demeaning.  Fickle.  Impossible to satisfy. The standard says, "You're not skinny enough!  Only skinny is beautiful!"  And so we diet and deprive ourselves until we've reached that elusive Sz 2 (or at least as small as we can get) only to hear the standard say, "Oh, cool!  You're skinny!  But in losing all the weight, you lost your boobs!  UGLY!"  Oh okay, well thank goodness there are breast implants.  Whew!  Crisis averted.   The standard teases us with, "Gee, if only you didn't have those laugh lines around your eyes, you could really be a looker!"  Off we go to get wrinkles botoxed or stretched off our faces.  Surely now that insatiable standard will be satisfied.  But nooooo, "Wow!  What did you do to your face?!  You can't even express an emotion on your face!"    Or how about this standard quip?  "A woman has to be young to be beautiful."  And so we buy every cream that promises us a youthful glow.  We try to adjust our wardrobes so that we can still make our womanly selves appear more "girl like".    And even for that we get, "Haven't you heard?  Women over 35 aren't supposed to wear a mini skirt!  Can't you act your age?!"

There have always been differing and changing views of what is seen as beautiful in a woman.  And, as women, we jump on the treadmill trying to keep up with them.  I mean, what woman doesn't want to be thought of as beautiful?  I know I do!  I don't think it makes me shallow.  I think it makes me human!   Call me crazy, but I think ALL women are beautiful.  And I'm not talking about the "Well, she has such a good heart" kind of beauty, I'm talking about genuine attractive beauty.  Just like we are.  All different shapes and sizes.  All different ethnicities.  Whatever your weight.  Whatever your age.   So the reality is that I don't need to change.  And neither do you.  The only thing that needs to change is the fact that we give a crap at all what some marketing agency or industry tells us what is and isn't beautiful.

So the next time that ad or commercial says to you, "Hey I know you.  You used to be beautiful!"  You just hold your head high and say with confidence:

I AM beautiful!  It's the standard that got ugly.

Letting my body just BE.....

Have you read Vahni's latest post on Feel Fit February?  If you haven't click over, read it and come back please!  And while I was typing this, I clicked over and she already has a new post about the scale, so please read it as well.  I think you'll either see yourself or many of your friends in how Vahni describes her relationship with the scale.  
Body obsession has been a theme of my life.  My epitaph could read "She always wanted her mother" or "She dieted"!  Because I've spent the bulk of my life doing both of those.  And it doesn't make for a happy or content existence. Think about the demands we make on our bodies.  We expect it to give us....

• Our desired weight number
• Our desired waist size
• Our desired thigh, hips, butt, bust size
• Our desired clothing size
• Our desired proportions
• Immune against sickness

Surely, if our bodies could talk to us audibly, they'd be saying, "Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?!"

Why, really WHY is it so hard to just be thankful for our bodies?  Why do we see our appearance as a barometer of how desirable we are?  Why does a number on a scale or the fit of a pair of jeans control our mood, our self esteem?  Why do intelligent, bright, creative and beautiful women obsess over something as fickle and superficial as weight/size?

No finger pointing here, because as I've said, this has been a struggle for me and I'm just OVER it!  At 46 years old, I don't want to head into my 50's STILL obsessing about my weight.  

I have a wonderful friend who is a trainer and an athlete.  Mandy and I have worked together and had TONS of conversations about weight and our/most women's obsession with it.  I love her healthy attitude toward her body. She feeds it real food and works out.   Mandy admonishes her clients to "let your body just BE"; stop trying to GET it to look a certain way".  Isn't this brilliant!  What a concept!!  Let our bodies BE!  Treat our bodies with kindness.  Feed my body well with the food it needs.  Rest it well.  Think on good things and relax the brain.  And then, wherever my body "lands" after that, that's where it supposed to be.  

And that's what I'm trying to live now!  Just let my body BE!

By the way, is this a cultural phenomenon among American women?  Do women in other countries give much thought to the size or weight of their bodies?   If you have any answers, I'm all ears!

Blouse:  Silk, Ellen Tracy, thrifted  Boots:  Jessica Simpson via TJ Maxx  Pants:  J Crew  

  Like how I used a butterfly sticker to cover the dumpsters??

While I'm not usually a fan of embellishments, I do love the corset laces in the back of the boots!

Okay, so I had to put on a bit for my sweet baby!  He played photographer and I played DIVA!

Saturday morning elegance.....Old Hollywood Style

How about some Kay Francis this morning? Gorgeous. Minimalist. Not traditionally "girly" but supremely elegant and feminine!