I think I may be losing my mind. Yesterday, I spent waaaay too much time trying to 'put together a blog worthy outfit. I mean, is it creative enough to even post? Am I showing original use of accessories? Anything vintage? OH. MY. GOSH!! To you voices in my head, "SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!" Look, I've dealt with most of my insecurities, feelings of self worth, fear of rejection and body issues. And that has taken me almost 44 years. I don't need to add the round 2 of neuroses and psychoses. Getting through the Round 1 was enough for me, thank you very much.
I have a tendancy to put so much expectation on something that something really fun and great can turn into a burden or a curse. Case in point, my wedding last year. We had a really small wedding. I think the whole thing cost $12, the price of my group of daisies. But I hunted and hunted for a dress that would meet what I believed were everyone's expectations that I ended up in tears. Weddings are supposed to be a happy time, right? I can feel myself doing the same thing blogging. I used to want to write so badly, but I edited myself and worried about it being just right so much that I just didn't write. When I stopped thinking about it and basically just started talking on paper (or computer rather), my writing was actually pretty good. I had to let go of my need to please or approval, and VOILA! I can write!
I know that for me, the issue is self trust. Whenever I go with my instinct, I'm always much better off. It's sweet freedom to let go of worrying what someone else, ANYONE else thinks of what I say, what I do, how I dress, how I think. I thought I had learned this, but blogging expanded on this unfinished lesson. It has reminded me that I still have some snakes in my head that crawl to the surface and try to mess with me sometimes. I heard on Will and Grace one time, a line that Will told Jack and it has stuck with me. By the way, I get all my life lessons from Will and Grace (could that be a problem?!) He said, "Jack, you are the most yourself of anyone I know". I want to be that. To have that confidence that it's okay for me to just be me. No complaining. No explaining. Unapologetically ME! This has been a good first lesson in blogging that the blog documents my life and passion. My life and passion are NOT created or lived for the blog. Thank you and Good Day! I think I have a cramp in my fingers now!
This is the dress that I mentioned yesterday that is a 1X and I took it in in the sleeves and the sides. I also trimmed off half the sleeve and sewed up some slits. I LOVE the result! I also really like this with the cowboy boots. Way outside of my comfort zone with this, but I like it! I like it! I spent the day helping my daughter get ready for her homecoming game; she was on the Homecoming court. It was fun and took me back to over 25 years when I was a senior in High School. The football field still smells the same!
Dress...... thrifted and refashioned ($1.50)
Belt......Michael Kors via TJ Maxx ($ 15?)